Wednesday, Dec. 24, 2003 9:13 p.m.

There is something that I have definitely learned after the past three days in bed. I now know that when I find out that someone I know is sick, it is not a good idea to call him or her until a few days later.

How do I know this? People have done nothing but call me despite the fact that many of them know that I can barely speak and I have been hacking up a lung since Sunday. It is unbelievably ironic to call someone, wake them up, then tell them that they need rest.

Well no freakin kidding.

I had a fever of 102 not more than 24 hours ago and it�s like I�ve gotten about 18 phone calls since then. Most of the time, I don�t answer the phone, and instead, I have to get up, out of bed, and erase the answering machine messages. It kills me that my father keeps calling, since he�s already lectured me on getting sick repeatedly.

Um�.wtf? It�s not like I want to keep getting sick. I wash my hands like crazy. I yell at my mom when she tries to do stupid things like drink out of my drink. I can�t seem to help it. So what, exactly, inspires people to keep calling my apartment to �check on me�? I have NO FREAKIN CLUE BUT IT NEEDS TO STOP. Waking me up from a dead sleep, after it took two full hours of coughing, tossing, and turning to get there DOES NOT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.

I realize that people are concerned and they want to know what�s going on, but there is a point where I need to be left alone. In fact, I�ve been wanting to be left alone since I moved here, but no one seems to grasp it. My mom calls several times a day. My father calls several times a day.

In fact, I don�t even want to get started on him. Supposedly, around Thanksgiving, he and his girlfriend break up. Then he calls me every SINGLE day to talk to me. Um, hello, Dad, you didn�t give me this courtesy when I needed to talk to you, so why on earth should I give up time to talk to you now?

I know that�s harsh, but I�m getting DAMN sick of this constant need for my attention only when he�s lonely. He doesn�t give a damn about my existence any other time, except when his mother�s not around, and he�s without a girlfriend.

I have no idea why my mom�s been calling so much, but doesn�t anyone understand that I can neither talk, nor do I actually want to?

Ughhhhhhh��.maybe I am in a bad mood because I feel so miserable, but I never thought that in my own apartment, I wouldn�t have very much space.

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