Wednesday, Mar. 24, 2004 11:22 a.m.

Ughhh�.I�m so freakin hungry. I don�t want to go to the caf� just yet because then I�ll be hungry as the day goes on. I�m tired too, very tired.

The past week has had its ups and downs. It seems like every day has become some kind of battle. It�s a battle to get my butt out of bed in the morning. It�s a battle with myself to get ready for work. It�s a battle to clean my apartment.

Why is all of this such a battle with me? I have no idea. I just don�t feel like doing anything responsible anymore. I feel like lying in bed, reading, taking baths, and rotting my brain in front of the tv. I guess I want to take some kind of �mental vacation� because it seems like my brain is tired.

It doesn�t help that my stepfather is rather ill. A few years ago, we found out that he had some kind of precursor to leukemia, as well as a tumor right near his kidney. He had the tumor removed, and he went through the chemotherapy and radiation treatments. Everything was �okay� after a year.

However, it turns out that the leukemia is �back�, I guess. He actually does have leukemia this time. The doctors also found another tumor, in the same spot that he had one before. Not only that, but they found that the tumor was malignant.

Apparently (and I don�t know this for sure because I know nothing about cancer) this is really bad. The doctors said something about recurrence within five years being really bad, and this, of course, has my stepfather freaked out to the point where he�s not even asking the proper questions while at the doctor�s office.

This has taken a toll on my mother, which, in turn, has taken a toll on me. Matters aren�t being helped by his stupid children who haven�t even called.

Sooo�.I�m tired�.and cranky�.and hungry�..

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