I'm not entirely sure if I'm being out of line when I think this, so if I am, please let me know.I realize that I've been somewhat anti-social lately, and I have my myriad of excuses for it. I only get two days off a week [and sometimes three, depending on the week] and since I'm so busy during the week, alot of things need to be done on those three days. Therefore, it really really pisses me off when people invite me to go somewhere and then invite me to do it on the day that it happens.
Yeah, not everyone is like me. Not everyone makes plans in advance, and I understand that. Most of the time, if someone suggests that we do something in a Sunday afternoon, I should be able to work it in.....but usually not if the person asks me about ten minutes before he or she wants to hang out. It doesn't upset me at all that hanging out with me is an afterthought. It really doesn't upset me at all when someone goes, "Hmmmmm....I suddenly have some free time....I wonder what J is doing. Maybe we should hang out."
I completely understand that. I do it all the time in fact. I don't like it, though, when I find out that the person that I turned down is later pissed off at me for saying "no" or insinuates that I'm avoiding him or her. That's really not fair.
I know that I'm not the busiest person in the world. I know that I'm very particular about the way that I want to get my errands done and that I sometimes waste time. However, that's my right. I work 40+ hours a week. I'm pretty dedicated to attending the gym. I like to cook for myself. And...unlike alot of people my age, I take care of my own household.
So....because I have two to three days off a week, in those two to three days, I have to work in laundry, cooking, cleaning, bill paying, grocery shopping, and alot of the other things that alot of people who don't live on their own don't realize that others have to do. Going to the grocery store is a prime example. I used to wonder what the hell took my mother so long at the grocery store. Of course, part of the problem was that she never created a list. But the things that you don't even think about come to bite you in the ass when you're only $30 worth of food a week. There's the travel time. There's the people who get in your way and take forever to get out of your way in the aisles. There's the problem locating things. There's times where your items aren't there. There's times where you want to save some money and you have to go to another store. There's the lines. There's the bagging. There's the loading of the groceries in the car. There's the travel time back home. There's the unloading of groceries out of your car [which takes awhile if you have to park in a group parking lot, climb a flight of stairs, and chase a kitten who always runs out the door]. There's the putting away of the groceries. There's the throwing out of the old food. Suddenly, a trip that you thought would take a half hour takes twice that.
In order for me to get all of these things done, I have to plan my day. And I can't really include others if they don't give me advanced warning. I am, by no means, criticizing people who make the effort to give me a call, send me an email, IM me, text me, etc. to invite me out on the spur of the moment. Hell, the effort is good enough in my book. At least someone was thinking about me. What's not cool is when I find out that I'm being labelled as "avoiding" someone, or anti-social because I'm not willing to drop everything that I'm doing to go hang out with others.
Is that out of line? Really, I'm asking because maybe it is too much to expect...
