Thursday, Sept. 30, 2004 3:49 p.m.

Looks like I�m going to be on my own for the next ten days.
B is taking off to go down to Florida for a wedding and a triathlon. I have no idea what I�m going to do to occupy my time. I hate staying in this house alone. I can�t explain why it is. I mean, I used to be alone in my apartment all the time. In fact, last Christmas, B took off for Florida for a week and I was alone�.what did I do then?
There�s something about this house that scares me. It makes me feel so vulnerable to all the strange noises. It doesn�t help that the cats seem to take it upon themselves to scare me half to death by the way they thunder through the house.
On one hand, I do have a lot to do. I have a couple of club meetings, and a group run on Sunday to go to, plus I plan on going into work to get some things done. But I just hate that I�m going to be going to sleep, at night, in the house, alone. It allows me too much time to think about things, and that�s the last thing that I want to do.
Strangely enough, I have a hard time falling asleep when I have a full mind. I can�t escape my problems with sleep like other people can.
So what can I do? I could get myself drunk every night until I pass out [not likely, that pesky work thing will get in the way]. I could drug myself, but again, work. I could watch TV until I fall asleep, but late night TV sucks ass. I could invite someone to stay here��
�..that�s not such a good idea, actually. I�m so picky about when I want to be alone and when I don�t.
I could find ways to occupy myself so that I�m rarely alone�.but I dunno if I want to spend money on new hobbies that I�ll put down when things go back to normal.
Blech�.I hate being alone�.
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