"Perhaps I know why it is man alone who laughs: He alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter."-Friedrich Nietzsche
Secret opened her eyes, knowing the outside world would be no different from her mind. The darkness was so thick it surrounded her, blinding herself from her own body. She looked down at her hands, knowing that she would not be able to see them. She sighed, putting her hands down and resting her head against the cool wall. Her brief stint last Sunday had cost her the freedom of being able to see the outside world. She ran her hands along the small of her back, feeling the raised, peeling skin. Prominence had almost pulled out every strand of her pretty little hair when she felt her back erupt in pain.
Secret laughed, thinking about the tiger permanently etched into her skin. Jealous and angry at Prominence, she retaliated with a tattoo. Almost immediately after Prominence recovered from her latest dramatic stint. Secret awoke to find herself alone and caged. She could see Prominence in her slutty, yet elegant backless shirt, flirting with men who walked or even drove by. She was in her element as the center of attention, keeping J�s inner thoughts, fears, and ultimately Secret locked away. At first Secret had cried for being locked away like some kind of bad animal or crazy person. She cried at her loss of freedom. Then she grew again accustomed to her perpetual aloneness, the sweet taste of the small victory fading from her tearstained lips.
Now, almost a week later, Secret felt safe in her prison. She was almost afraid of exiting the calming inner shell of J and surfacing once again. Unlike Prominence, Secret had not build up the barriers or found someone to be her lackey if another person hurt her. Secret was the lackey. She took a deep breath, thinking about how strange her life really was. Born the child of pain and misery that J had experienced since entering early adulthood, Secret had grown accustomed to the erratic homelife, the criticism of J's Mother-being, and the constant threats of becoming unlovable. Such things no longer hurt her; they simply seemed part of normal life to her. She had learned how to ignore the howling of the Mother-being (she was biologically a mother, but not fit to be called a Mother) and realized that the howling she made was a sign of the pain that she was in. Secret quietly enjoyed the pain the Mother-being suffered.
Secret�s thoughts suddenly stopped as a small portion of light filled the room, burning her eyes. When the painful light cleared, Secret saw Prominence standing in the doorway with a dejected look on her face.
Secret closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the door.
�What�s the matter Princess? The outside world too much for you?�
J
