"Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death!"-Patrick Henry
J closed her eyes to keep the tears from falling anymore.
�Why God why?� ash asked no one in particular. J felt as if the world spun against her. Every direction that she ran in met her with resistance. Now she just stood still. The conflict used to make her stronger, she used to thrive on the challenge. After years of trying to piece the world back together, now it only made her weary. Although nothing catastrophic had happened to make her feel so alone, it was the infinite chain of things held together with links of her ironic luck that had made her fall to her knees.
�What is my purpose in this life?� she asked again, whispering now, her voice horse. What was the reason she was created? What sort of reason did a wretch like she serve?
Somewhere inside her, she heard giggling.
Not completely alone in life, J had started to realize that she could no longer rely on her parents to protect her. She had been fighting the war by herself for several years now. Instead of protecting her, her parents had flung her into a glass jar so that they could keep her in check while they rained sulfur upon her. Outside the glass, people walked by oblivious to the little girl crying out to them. They carried on in their lives, unaware that she was suffering, burning, hurting deep inside. Now, instead of screaming for help, J ignored the people outside her glass jar. In the beginning J had wished that she could find a way out of the jar, now J didn�t want to be any part of the society that had ignored her screaming. She didn�t want to be a member of the group that told her that she was not smart enough to get a scholarship, not pretty enough to be worthwhile, not good enough to be loved. Instead this world and this god decided that she had to repent for sins unknown to her, sins that were so bad that she didn�t even deserve to be able to eat. God had rewarded her with a disease, hardship, unlovability, pain, eternal sorrow and strife as payment for her life here. Such a life doesn�t seem worth living, does it? Except that every time that she was given an inch, the powers that be threw the dice and blew her back a mile.
J could feel the civil war inside of herself.
Again she heard the giggle somewhere.
~ She�s taking her time, making up the reasons, to justify all the hurt inside. Yes, she knows from the smiles and the look in their eyes, everyone�s got a theory about the bitter one. Momma never loved her much, Daddy never keeps in touch, that�s why she shies away from human affection.~
To the Moon and Back
Prominence stared at Secret, her jaw jutting out slightly. Her kohl rimmed eyes narrowed as she smacked together her pink stained lips.
�I couldn�t imagine that you would understand,� she said finally. Secret only opened one eye.
�Understand what?� she asked, not hiding her boredom with the conversation.
�Understand what if feels like to be adored and then all of the sudden scorned.�
�You�re right,� Secret opened her other eye. �I would never know what I�m missing.�
Prominence crossed her arms, examining her nails.
�You are such a pathetic creature, she said, patronizing, �at least I try to make our life worth living. All you do is try to bring us down. You cannot act better than society when you are its slave.�
�We are not slaves! We are here by choice. If we did things my way, we wouldn�t be a part of any form of slavery. We would be free of social constraints,� Secret clutched her hand into a fist.
�And then you would be shunned by it,� Prominence said without any emotion, almost as if it were a question.
�So what,� Secret slammed her hands onto the ground.
�If you think life is hard and full of hardship now, just go ahead and turn your back on the people you are depended upon,� Prominence yelled back. Secret closed her eyes again, trying to regain her composure. Her thoughts were interrupted by some kind of noise. She heard giggling somewhere. She looked accusingly at Prominence who was looking around.
�Oh don�t you dare try to blame something else on me,� she shook her head in disgust and walked away, slamming the door behind her. Secret stood, running to the door and jiggling the handle. It wouldn�t budge. She sighed, letting herself slide down the cold wall.
~When everything feels like the movies, yeah you bleed just to know you�re alive. And I don�t want the world to see me, cause I don�t think that they�d understand. When everything�s made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.~
Iris
Somewhere the sun was shining, warming the emerald green grass. The air was filled with laughter and a little girl spun around, her arms outstretched on the grass. Her long red hair spun around with her, like a mystical copper waterfall. The magnificence of this moment was accompanied with a symphony of giggles.
J
