I�m not sure that I should be writing this. I think that I should stop right now and go to bed, but I just can�t. There�s too much on my mind. The end of work kept a permagrin on my face until people stopped entertaining me with their replies to the abortion thread. I was actually thoroughly disappointed when people stopped replying. For quite awhile there, every time I hit refresh, there was a new reply. It turned out that AC and AD couldn�t even do the tests that B, the Boss, demanded they do. There was something wrong with the computer. I secretly smirked at the thought of this. I�m so angry at him for making me leave testing. While they were testing, the replies to the threads stopped.
This left me quite disappointed.
Well, there is something weighing so heavily on my mind that I really wish that I could post it. I could use the advice of the masses here, but public diaries cause public problems.
There�s also someone that I really wish that I could talk to right now, someone who would bring an instant smile to my face.
LOL, I�ve noticed another thing: this week, my cheeks have hurt. Whether it be from the dentist appointment, constant smile, or I don�t even know what, it�s somewhat funny. How do you complain about your cheeks hurting?
One of the exes called me tonight. It was the ex before D, the Sweetheart. I haven�t talked to him in the longest time, but it was nice to catch up. Apparently he was bored. Too bad he didn�t call me an hour earlier! I was listening to his voice, thinking about the way we used to be four years ago.
I can�t get over that I dated someone so hot The guy was model perfect. He had an incredible body..
�Oh fuck�Bandit�s in my closet�.
Anyway, he had an incredible body, unbelievably good looks, and a nice guy kind of personality. He just wasn�t as ambitious as I, though. I was not the �dumper� in this situation, though. He dumped me. Even though we talk on very sporadic occasions, I still never actually found out the reason why.
He was definitely not perfect for me.
Neither was D, the Sweetheart.
And most definitely P, the Conqueror.
I�m actually afraid of the idea of a relationship now. I must be looking for something that just doesn�t exist. I have an ideal and too many have been falling through the cracks.
I�d have to take AR, the first boyfriend�s, willingness to work, good looks, and friendliness.
I�d have to also include D, the Sweetheart�s, sweetness, sincerity, and All-American-ness..
I�d definitely have to take P, the Conqueror�s, intelligence, versatility, and energy.
Then you add in a dash of KP, the Oniisan�s, honesty, love, and sensitivity, H, the All Knowing�s worldly knowledge and listening ability, R, the Life Floater�s humor and ability to do anything for his friends, JG, the Lost�s, ability to make you feel better and great discussions, LLJ, the Cartoonist�s quirky view of things and comfortableness, and you�d have my man.
So�lol�how do I find this guy?
To PH: the hang over isn�t likely, but I did end up drinking an entire bottle of wine. LOL, how do you know me so well after such a little time?
