Today�s entry, I�m sorry, is going to be a grand old bitchfest. It�s not that today and this weekend wasn�t full of good moments, but it seems that the bad (as in piss me off extremely) moments seem to keep popping up and staying in my mind. So, if you would like to not here a couple pages of mostly negative thoughts and feelings, please turn away now!
I thought that my new found sense of God and religion would make Easter a better day for me. After all, with this sense of peace that I feel, I should be able to deal with the world�s most negative and fucked up family with calmness and patience. Patience and calmness went out the window within a few moments of setting foot in my aunt�s trailer, or I suppose it�s real name, �modular home.�
Click on the following for a quick background demographics on my fam.
Aunt C
Cousin J
Cousin D
Cousin A
Fiancee F
Cousin A was on his computer with Cousin D playing Max Payne. The beagle, Amber, instantly came up to greet me, drudging her dirty paws all over my freshly washed jeans. Aunt C was in the kitchen with Grandma and Cousin D�s fianc�e F. F�s daughter (whom I don�t think I actually know her name, but she plays very little part in these festivities) was prancing around the house. Now some background history: my mother was the only person on her side of the family to graduate from college, and I�ll be the only grandchild (though A still has the chance since he�s only in 6th grade) that is favored to graduate from college as well. Everyone greeted me very nicely with the usual niceties and I took my place on the couch to watch Cousin A�s bunny sit on the couch, terrified of the dog which wouldn�t stop licking its ears. Aunt C handed me my Easter present, some moisturizer and a single Reese�s peanut butter egg to which she replied, �Well you don�t need any more candy��
I still wonder exactly what her intentions were behind that remark. Did she mean that I was too old for candy or was she referring to my weight? Most of you would be assuring me that I was just being a paranoid girl by thinking she was picking on me, but most of you would also not know the history of my family. My family is one of those that likes to jab at everyone to make each other feel better. Family gatherings are not usually a pleasant experience for anyone who is prosperious, attractive, or otherwise doing well.
Some more background: my mother is overweight, but not by that much. My aunt, Cousin D, Cousin J, Fiancee F, her daughter are all hefty hefty people. All of them easily tip the 200 mark and almost approach the 250-300 mark. It�s pretty scary from my point of view, seeing how much genetics is working against me.
Well, after I glared for a few moments at what my aunt had said, I put the candy away and my grandfather gave me my present from him and grandmother. It was a gift card from Target (at my mother�s thoughtful suggestion) and I graciously thanked him and put it away.
The initial sting of Aunt C�s unsure remark was starting to wear off when dinner was announced to be ready. All the while, Cousin A is chasing his bunny, terrifying it, I�m sure, to death, trying to catch it and put it away. While he�s doing this, he�s screaming and interrupting the conversation my mother was having with Cousin D. I could see my stepfather sitting on the furthest couch cushion waiting and biding his time until he could leave this hellhole (I really think he hates my mother�s family). I saw that Grandpa was getting a plate and I took the opportunity to escape from Cousin A�s screams (I still wonder why Grandpa keeps his hearing aids on considering how loud A is.) I could also hear Fiancee F yelling in the background, though I now realize that she was not actually yelling, but that she has one of those voices where she�s so loud that everyone can hear her.
That�s not an accident.
Fiancee F is one of those people who waves her finger around while shaking her neck projecting this �I�ll kick yo� ass because I need to show everyone that I�m a badass to get attention and respect even though I�m really really insecure and I crave attention and respect more than I care whether or not I look like a jackass� attitude. She�s got ancient and new breakouts all over her face, she shouts while she�s chewing, and her teeth are cracking and blackened.
Cousin A: F, fix me a plate (in his childlike voice two pitches above everyone else�s)
Fiancee F: Don�t make me whoop your ass, make your own plate.
Is that something that you really should say to an 11 year old, even if he is being annoying and stupid?
Well, I squeezed myself past her monstrous ass and quickly filled my plate to take one of the few chaired seats near Grandpa. My stepfather joined us as did someone else. I watched, from a distance, as Cousin A put the plate up to his lips and sucked the food in instead of actually using his knife in fork. When something needed to be cut, he�d simply tear it apart with his fingers. Fiancee F was loudly talking, while spitting small amounts of food out of her full, fat mouth. I thought I was going to be sick. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn�t. Just when I thought the day had reached the pinnacle of horribleness, Cousin J arrived with his two children that don�t even know who I am.
Oh joy.
Cousin J is this bitter 33 year old guy who went to the same college as I about ten or twelve years ago (on a fuckin full Native American tuition scholarship) and drank himself out of here by fucking up his grades.
He sat down near me and sharpened his claws while he said, �So, it�s been a long time.�
Cousin A made a grand entrance to the table by showing us his new report card. That�s right ladies and gentlemen, my 11 year old cousin in 6th grade has a GPA of 2.9. This is, of course, raised from a 2.0 last term. Cousin J took the grand opportunity to start taking shots at me.
Cousin J: Those are MSU grades.
Me: Those aren�t my MSU grades.
Cousin J: Those are the grades that you need to get in to MSU.
Me: Then tell me, what are the grades to get kicked out of MSU. You would know.
I walked away to put my plate away and sat down to tell my mom that it only took Cousin J about five minutes to pick on me. However, he wasn�t through with his clawing.
Cousin J: So do you still live on campus?
Me: Yeah.
Cousin J: Only losers live on campus.
Me: Actually losers flunk out of college.
He continued to ask me questions and pick at whatever I answered with.
Yes people, he is a bitter bitter man.
I walked away from him again and listened to Fiancee F talk about how she had accidentally accessed porn on the web.
Fiancee F: I was looking up something for Cousin D on the web and I typed in Michigan without a capital m and ended up going to porn! You have to be very careful!
Me: Actually it doesn�t matter when you type capital or lowercase letters in URLs, you probably put www.michigan.com instead of www.michigan.gov.
No, no, I couldn�t possibly have the right answer because Fiancee F also has that wonderful personality tick where there�s no possible way in the universe she could be wrong.
Fiancee F: No, it�s because I didn�t use a capital letter.
This is where it got weird, Cousin J actually defended me.
Whether or not Fiancee F took the explanation, I don�t know, because I walked away again. Cousin A walked around showing everyone pictures of his dog and getting in people�s faces.
So after a couple hours, my mother had complained to Aunt C about Cousin J�s attitude and how he kept picking on us while Aunt C dismissed him as �just kidding.�
Just kidding my ass.
Then Fiancee F said right in front of Cousin A that his and Aunt C�s �house� was a dump. So he immediately ran in to tell his mother, climbing all over her while she smoked a cigarette. She tried to politely ignore him, but he told her about four times.
Fiancee F wasn�t through however, she joined in on Cousin J in picking on my mother and I for how �well off� we were because we live in the Heights.
Are you fuckin kidding me?
Just because my mother knows how to handle money well, does not mean that we�re �rich and snooty� as Fiancee F put it or �flashy.� I�m really sick of her attitude. After all she�s just some white trash, bitch who actually competed with �300 applicants� to work at a dollar store. She�s the �flashy� one with at least four rings on each hand to show off her cheap jewelry and �impeccable� style. At least, that�s what I think.
And that�s what I said.
My stepfather got his kicks out of that and my mom decided it was time to take me home so that I could be off to school. I will probably be disinvited to the white trash wedding, but as you can see, I�m in tears about that.
Boo hoo.
I do feel kinda sorry about Cousin D though. He�s the only one I like of the whole bunch. I hope he never marries that dumb bitch of a woman.
On to rant two�..
I never realized how rude a lot of people are around here. Today, for example, I was doing my 8 billion labs, on the couch and enjoying television when RP, the Roomate, announced that her boyfriend would be coming upstairs to print out some stuff for his class.
Alright, it�s not like it was 10 at night and I was busy doing labs and didn�t want to be bothered.
So he came upstairs instantly (she went downstairs previously to go meet him). He walks into our room and doesn�t even say, �hello� or anything. Now, I didn�t say anything either, but I kinda feel that a person entering a room or residence should be the first to say hello, don�t you? Whenever someone knocks on our door or comes in, they are usually the one that greets first, but I shouldn�t let that bother me so much as that I could have started the greet. However, I do think it is very rude when someone comes into a shared residence and says nothing at all to the other person who lives there. RP and her boyfriend talked in low voices to each other, not even looking in my general direction. I threw out a couple comments about the television show we were all watching for a possible conversation but they did not bite.
I�m sorry, it may not be entirely her boyfriend�s fault as I could have tried harder, but I honestly think that RP was very in the wrong by ignoring me completely in our own room and only talking to her boyfriend. She could have tried to make a conversation that the three of us could participate in; the responsibility falls mostly on her to keep the balance of a friendly atmosphere between two people who have no connection other than her.
Then, while I was going to get caf�2go to get some food to munch on while I work on my labs, this girl (and I use that term loosely) came barreling past me, went in the wrong door, and stood impatiently, tapping her foot waiting for the guy to scan her card.
I can only describe this girl as a truck pressed into skin. She wore clothing that looked like it was two sizes too small so that rolls of excess fat actually draped themselves over her bra line.
It�s pretty disturbing to see a roll of fat on someone�s back.
Then, she had this huge growth on the side of her nose that reminded me of something that you would find on a stereotypical witch. She had little round glasses and angry, slanted eyes.
�Hey! Come on!� she shouted to the poor worker who was getting himself some dinner. He hurried over and she didn�t even say thank you before stalking off. However, with all of her speed, I ended up right behind her waiting for her to ironically hurry her fat ass up so I could get some soup. I decided against saying anything but she just couldn�t keep her fat mouth shut.
�Can I help you?� she said as I stood waiting.
�Yes, you can move a bit faster,� I inched back, fearing the backlash of a fat granny elbow to the face while she put the ladle back in the soup pot.
�There�s no need to be so impatient,� she said, and I waited for the pendulum of irony to swing back and slap her in the face.
�Well, I can see that you�ve learned that lesson well yourself,� I said and took the ladle and filled my soup bowl. There was no need to dig any deeper, either the remark made it through the thick head or it was reflected off into space where her fat fingers couldn�t reach.
As I was leaving, I noticed that instead of grabbing an apple or a banana, she grabbed the greasiest chips she could.
Yummy.
Alright, the third rant�
I got an IM from > P, the Conqueror, about his most recent exam and how badly it sucked. That�s not a surprise considering most tests around here suck, especially in engineering. However, every single test he takes is so unbelievably unfair. His professors put questions on the exams about stuff that was not covered in class or in the book. The class average is always some kind of failing grade. Life is horrible for him in computer science here at MSU.
However, how does he actually know that the professors do not go over exam topics in class considering his attendance percentage is less than half? No no, the classes are pointless to go to because he�s so smart that he already knows everything that the professors go over. He�s apparently been screwed by the hardest professors in every single class including his basic university requisites. No no, it has nothing to do with that he chats all night and waits until the last minute to do his homework. Every single bad grade that he�s gotten has nothing to do with that he puts very little effort into anything, it�s always the professors or the labs or the classes.
It�s never him.
It�s sooo annoying to even talk to him about school.
He just took a test in TC and there were questions on the exam that referred back to the classes before it. Did he think this was fair? Not at all. It says on the registration page that the class has recommended previous material.
But no, the prof shouldn�t put stuff like that on the exam.
That would involve work.
I think that�s it for me. That�s enough bitching for today.
