I was reading, earlier, that the younger of the two DC Snipers was described as an overachiever who was bookish and gentle, in desperate need of approval. In fact, he desired approval so badly that he used to stay after school and help carry his teachers� bags. What would cause someone to go from that to randomly gunning down people and laughing?
I�m in a rather introspective mood today. It may or may not be the weather that has gotten me into such a quiet and solemn mood, but I just want today to be over. I�m dead tired, my neck hurts, and I can feel the pressure of oncoming deadlines starting to build up.
Yesterday was so different. Granted, I was still quiet yesterday, but I felt so on top of things. I felt so on top of the world. It�s not that I�m in a bad mood today, but yesterday, I was flying high above the world. I felt so excited to be alive, so lucky to have the things that I do.
While I still feel very lucky to have the people in my life that I do, today, the thoughts of all that �luckiness� have overwhelmed me. I would much prefer to empty my head, curl up on my bed, and sleep.
It�s times such as these where I wish that I lived on my own. I�m in a quiet mood. I�m also in a mood where I don�t want to hear my mother even breathing. I want complete silence in the house. I want no questions asked about the way that I�m behaving.
No, I don�t want to discuss my day at work.
No, I don�t want to talk about moving out.
No, I don�t want to look at furniture.
I want to be left alone.
I don�t remember what inspired me to feel so excited yesterday. I wish that I could go back to it. I just remember thinking about what a wonderful place I am in my life right now. I don�t struggle with the inherent issues of my youth anymore. Although it�s a routine every day, it�s a routine that I can live with. I think that I�ve finally found everything that I�ve been looking for. There are still, of course, the questions about my future that I�ve always wondered, but they don�t seem to be as pressing anymore. I�ve found myself much more happy to live in the moment.
I�d better just post this before it is noticed by the evil one that I�m on the net�.
