A few of you may be wondering why my page has been locked for like the past week. Or�.you could care less�.but I�m going to tell you anyway. Anyway, it turns out that this little secret haven of mine is nowhere near as secret as I thought it was. It turns out, that if you actually put some effort into looking for it, you will actually find it.
Yes, I am this na�ve.
Anyway, now that I�ve made my previous entries more �personally friendly�, I can unlock the page�.and hopefully, for good. It�s so ironic that at the point in my life where I want to be the most open, I can�t be. I know, I know�I�ve always criticized those who bitch about people stumbling across their diary. I�ve always chastised them for their carelessness. I�ve always said, �If you don�t want the world reading it, don�t write it.�
Then, of course, it comes and bites me in the ass.
I suppose that it�s my fault anyway. It appears that I only fueled the fire by tempting these individuals into looking for me. I should have just given the page up from the beginning, and its attractiveness would have diminished faster than my car is going to depreciate.
[sighs] Stupid stupid me.
There�s SOOOOOOOO much that I want to say too. There�s so many things going on; in so many different directions. I want to scream from the rooftops what I feel right now, but�.for my own sake, I have to restrain myself, especially based on who is reading.
It�s not that I don�t trust the person/people who have stumbled across this, but it�s that��I can�t go there. I just can�t. Maybe in a couple weeks�.right now I�m just not ready.
Oh but I wish I was. There�s so much to say�.
On a different note, I have a song stuck in my head (as usual). I think I shall add it to my �life soundtrack�. It has the usual elements of a song that would attract me: touching lyrics, slow tempo, and great music. =]
The song stuck in my head is [drumroll please] �Here Without You� by 3 Doors Down. The lyrics actually remind me of someone�.or does it remind me of the idea of someone? Is it the idea of being with this person or is it the person himself?
Damn me and my perpetual idealism. Why the hell can�t things be uncomplicated in my life? It�s always the impossible situations that happen to me. It always ends up with the dramatic choice between one great thing or another�.and based on my track record, I choose incorrectly.
[sighs] I wish I could just say it all. I guess I�ll have to save the truth for another private entry.
Alright, since you�re here and I know you�re here�..did you enjoy my incoherent ramblings? I�m sorry to disappoint, but the pictures are only accessed by me actually linking to them in individual entries. I suppose I�ll let you see one. =]
HERE is a picture from last year sometime. Happy now? Should I grow my hair out like that again?
