My feet are freezing. The weather outside feels something like ten below [and I�m serious about that] and there�s snow everywhere. Miss Brilliant [me] decided to wear just regular old tennis shoes to the one class she decided to attend today. Now my feet are soaked.
I had lab today, which meant that come hell or high water, I was going to have class. This isn�t some nancy-pancy lab where I can miss and make up some excuse. No, this is the lab of the Supreme Dick prof. That would be the same prof who gave me a zero on the homework. Anyway, basically, you are never allowed to miss lab.
I actually only have two more closed labs left. By �closed lab� I mean that we have an actual lab assignment that is due at the end of the lab period. After those two are finished, we start our �big projects� which are due at the end of the term. I talked to the TA today and asked him how hard the projects are. His response was, �they�re going to be harder than the previous years�.�
I hate that prof. Why does he have to be on some kind of power trip and make the class harder than it�s supposed to be? Why? Why? Why?
Anyway, I managed to finish the lab within an hour, which scares me a little. I mean, I got it all right, but what scares me is how the other people weren�t done when I�m left. I don�t like being one of the more efficient people because that signals that when it comes to lab partners, I�m going to be screwed.
Again.
Let me think here. I think that in almost every single lab that I�ve had, I�ve been the one doing all the work. In circuits? Well, no. We split the work. In microprocessors? Yeah, all the work. Electromagnetics? Split the work with the other girl, third partner was useless. Antennas? Yeah, almost all the work, it wasn�t even funny. In optics? Yeah, my lab partner bailed on the final presentation. In capstone? Well, I was pretty damn lucky in capstone. I�ve never seen a group of harder workers. Alright, so it�s more like a simple majority instead of almost all labs. Regardless, I�m not looking forward to being paired with someone who will yet again take advantage of the fact that I want a good grade.
I almost feel kinda lonely right now. I don�t mean in the way that I want a boyfriend or anything. I just don�t like how quiet it is in my apartment. I, more or less, miss my family. I know it sounds weird, considering my history, but I really do miss hanging out with my dad and my mom. I even miss seeing my grandparents. Sometimes, if I end up thinking too much, I think about the times that were bad, and all that succeeds in doing is making me feel guilty.
I hate that I feel guilty.
In all fairness, I have twice the amount of familial responsibility than the normal [I�m not even sure I should use that term. How many families get divorced now? 50%?] person. I have to find a way to split up the very little time that I have between two households and still try to visit my grandparents. It�s frustrating because I feel guilty when I go home.
Maybe I should go home on Sunday. It is my grandfather�s birthday celebration extravaganza. It would make him happy. I also need to see my father because it�s been since Christmas.
Arggggggggggggggg! Here I go again with the guilt.
I know what will help! The Sims!
