My obsessive compulsiveness has reached an all-time [and dangerous] high. I have been obsessed with making sure that I work out almost the full seven days a week for at least an hour. It had been going well until last night.
Last night I went to spinning, but the moment I set foot in the gym, my head started to spin. At the time, I wasn�t sure if it was the heat in the gym, the food I�d eaten [and believe me, I�d eaten], or a combination of the two. The owner/manager guy noticed immediately and made me sit down�and gave me a Gatorade type drink [which I have to remember to pay him for today].
I was embarrassed, obviously, but I was most upset that I was missing my hour of cardio for the day. I went home and cried about everything that had been going wrong�but seemed to concentrate on how I�d �broken� my routine.
I�m still not happy about missing spinning, as I will now have to go every single Tuesday and Thursday until the Tuesday of finals week to be sure I use the whole card. My mom tried to reassure me that everything was going to be okay, but I was practically inconsolable.
The weirdest part is that what was bothering me wasn�t the misery of the past few weeks, but that I�d broken my routine.
Time for me to step back and take a breather.
I have an appointment to meet a personal trainer today [because I think I�m going to hire him and we need to discuss things]. I think he�ll help me get my priorities straight. I mean, I�ve been trying since September, erratically, to get some kind of good routine going, but at least this guy is going to be able to answer all of my questions. I mean, how much is too much cardio? When am I overdoing it? How do I slim my hips and tummy?
[sigh]
I need to calm down. Between the hyperactivity of my daily drive to find a job, coffee, stress, and routine, I�ve become an obsessive compulsive mess. I mean, for heaven�s sake, I clean all the time now! I was never a clean person before.
I think I have too much time on my hands. Damn lack of a class schedule.
I never thought I�d say that before.
Anyway, I was supposed to attend this career fair today down in Livonia, but my stomach has hurt even to move�well that, and the throwing up incidents I�ve had the past few hours.
Ahhhh�.stress�[and possibly the flu]�how I love thee�.
