You know, it cracks me up to be on the outside of such drama and watch it unfold. It�s like I could lean back in a chair and chomp on some popcorn and just watch the realities of life. I, of course, am a people watcher as it is, but the technology of today allows me a certain convenience in seeking out my drama needs�diaryland.
Diaryland can be like crack for drama addicts. I can sit back, click on my buddy list, and just read away at who is pissed off at whom without actually ever having to involve myself. Sometimes, when the reading hits too close to home, I just can�t restrain myself from commenting. I haven�t completely learned the virtue of just watching yet.
Yes, I can be quite the bitch when I want to be. I almost find it to be an endearing part of my personality. I have definitely cooled it with regard to being critical of the people I am fond of, and I�m proud of myself for doing that. It took me to realize that everyone lives their lives very differently, but there is something inside of them that attracts me. Therefore, I should focus on that. However, if I�m not fond of you, you�d better beware.
Sometimes, it is nice to meet your friend�s friends. Take last night for an example�..
Just as I was resigning myself to a night of boredom, cleaning, and preparing for today, someone I hadn�t heard from in quite awhile just called me out of the blue. Vylette (�K� for those of you who aren�t part of the circle who call her �Vylette�. I�m resigning and just joining Rome) called me up to ask what I was doing. Of course, my answer was �nothing�. She invited me to see Down With Love, which, strangely enough, was pretty entertaining.
Anyway, after the movie, she told me that her friends Jayde and Emz were going to Ann Arbor and asked if I would like to come. Even though it is enemy territory for me, I said, �what the hell� and jumped on the bandwagon (enough clich�s?). I�d only been to Ann Arbor like twice and I�ve heard nothing but good things about the downtown area.
Now, I�ve hung out with Jayde before, and I�ve always had a good time. There�s something about her personality that just entertains you and makes you laugh for hours. It must be all the stories. I�ve most certainly read about enough good times on her diary to be almost like a situational tagalong. I knew it would be fun times. I, however, have never met Emz before, and the thought never crossed my mind to click on her diary when I�ve seen the link on others�. I wasn�t quite sure what to expect, not because of the stories I�ve read about her�..but more or less her associations in �the group� that I watch on diaryland.
Is that confusing enough?
I wasn�t going to blow her off because she appeared to be involved in so much drama; but I was afraid of running into another drama queen.
I don�t think I could have been any further from the truth actually.
At first, she seemed to be a cute little quiet girl, but as time went on, a humorous personality started to shine through. I was amazed that so much time could pass by simply walking around downtown Ann Arbor and then just getting something to eat. Maybe it was the situation, maybe it was the personalities of three fun-filled people I was with, or maybe it was the combination of the two. Needless to say, it was a good time.
We went from running into drunken wino poets: �I do not have a wife�� to scary strange dudes starting at us from the next booth whilst talking to themselves. I think that the best part, however, was the Hello Kitty alarm clock. I think that we concluded that it was saying, �Good morning! Good morning! I will kill you after noon!� after about a half hour craning our necks at it�s high-pitched voice.
Now, how would you like to wake up to that cheerful song every day? I think it�s still stuck in my head.
I have to say, though, since I can�t resist. It was seriously such a shame to label Emz as being part of such a dramatic circle when it was clearly more of a �guilty by association� situation. I realize that I should be able to step back and back out of a situation that has nothing to do with me, but it just boils my blood to do so. I suppose that the best thing that I can say is that at least it is over.
Boy do I know that sentiment well.
On that note, I believe that I may be starting work soon (boooo!). I realize that I should be much more excited about it because, well, it is money (and hopefully gratifying work), but I just can�t get excited about contract work. It feels like I�m going back to an internship. It doesn�t feel like a �real� job because I�m not getting �real� pay. Money is money though, and I pray that I will hear from the company that I�ve been hoping for sometime this coming week.
It scares me, simply because I was burned so many times before. What can I do though? The situation is very obviously out of my control. I think what frightens me the most is ending up not doing the things that I truly want to do. What if I get stuck in a job that has nothing to do with what I want to do and end up there forever, simply because I�m too scared to quit and be patient? I�m scared that I won�t be able to do what they want me to do. I�m scared that they�ll catch on that I�m looking for permanent work and treat me badly. I guess I�m just scared.
It�s so hard to be patient.
