It�s times like these where I almost wish that God would open the heavens and rain down vicodin tablets for us all like soma in Brave New World. We could all sit still, staring at nothing, drooling with our content little hearts pumping our blood and brain full of the narcotic. There would be no wars, no fighting, no need for money or material possessions; no need for anything but a wall to stare at. No, really, I don�t have an addiction.
I�ve noticed that since I�ve weaned myself off the drug that my neck truly does hurt. For awhile, I was beginning to think that it was simply a hallucination set in by my mind in order to get my hand to reach for the vicodin bottle so my mind no longer had to function.
Apparently my mind is tired.
Well, in all actuality, my neck doesn�t really hurt when I get up in the morning. I can function relatively well doing my chores and whatnot. What I have noticed, however, is that as the day goes on, the muscles in my upper back and neck area tighten up noticeably on both sides now. Then, after the muscles are nice and tight, my head starts to pound.
I�m starting to wonder if this seriously is some kind of hypochondriac reaction so that I can get some more vicodin or am I really in pain? In all seriousness, I�m starting to worry that I really do have a long lasting injury from that accident. I mean, as soon as the hospital told me my cat scan and X-rays were ok, I thought for sure that I�d have some tense muscles that I�d have to sleep off over the weekend.
It�s over a week later and it still hurts�.
Yesterday I successfully drove my car without fear all the way to my father�s house to pick up some things that I�d forgotten. I actually never realized how much stuff that I have between the two houses, considering just a couple days ago I filled up four trash bags of old clothes (that will be donated). When I left, I dropped in on R, the Life Floater, to see what he was up to and to show someone my new car. We discussed for awhile his various problems and my various problems and then I went on my merry way home and continued to clean up my disaster area of a room.
Well, as it turned out, K, the Sorceress, had informed me of a semi-formal dinner party that one of her former clubs was having. $25 would get me a nice dinner and an open bar. So, after a few hours of procrastination, I finally got around to getting ready.
And boy did I ever look good, even my hair behaved with me without having to be put up.
She picks me up and we chit chat aimlessly until we found the elusive dining hall that was holding the dinner/dance. When we pulled up and saw her other friends I realized two things: 1) This would be one of the few times in my life in which I would be a racial minority, 2) I was very very underdressed. I took K�s description of semi-formal to mean that I should look nice and put together. Well either I was being dumb or she didn�t have the right information because I saw lotsa skinny asian girls in prom dresses outside that dining hall, some of whom actually went to a hair stylist to get their hair done.
Oops.
I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. It wasn�t as if any of them would know who I was or even really care for the most part. Upon arriving, we happened to run into one of K�s other really close Caucasian friends. We went up to our banquet room and picked our seats. I kindly waited until other people went to the bar before venturing up there (and looking like an alcoholic).
�Bloody Mary please,� I said, handing him my ID.
�I don�t have Bloody Mary mix,� the older bartender said back to me quickly, almost too quickly.
�Long Island Iced Tea?� I tried.
�No, I don�t have all of the alcohol for that.�
�Screwdriver?�
�I only have cranberry juice, coke, and sprite,� he leaned on his elbow.
It was going to be a long night, I thought.
�Vodka and cranberry juice,� I sighed. He took a small glass and placed it under the vodka container. I noticed the label said �Popov.�
A very long night.
At first we sat down, admiring everyone�s attire. They all seemed to look wonderfully in their flowing gowns. I crossed my legs, feeling very comfortable in my linen pants. I was not alone in my debacle; K�s other friend also dressed down somewhat.
��so fat�� we heard a drifting voice.
�Did that girl just say fat?� Kitty (K�s other friend) and I said at exactly the same time.
�You hold her down, I�ll kick her,� Kitty said to me. I nodded in agreement looking the girl up and down.
�She does look very nice in her dress,� I commented. How could I be lying? The girl looked ethereal in her long flowing white dress with empire waist (I think). The purity of the dress almost made her skin glow.
�She looks like a little bride,� Kitty said. K and Kitty started talking a bit about the dress or the girl, I wasn�t sure which. I was looking around at the different colors of dresses and the differences in suits. I spotted the beautiful, long, full, curled hair of a very beautiful and mature looking asian girl when I heard speak of weddings and formal dresses.
�I�d have to hire my mother to be my wedding coordinator,� I chimed in referring to my complete inept fashion sense. Kitty nodded in agreement, �Yeah mine too. When I get married, um�I guess if I get married��
I started to think about that statement for a few minutes. �if I get married�� it wasn�t a definitive statement. I, too, had always assumed the �when� part of that statement. Lately I started questioning the certainty. Everyone around me had started years ago, it seemed. I remembered consoling guy friends of mine who were almost certain that they�d never find the right person for them, but I always had the certainty that it was a when, not an if.
Maybe that�s not actually true?
Now, come on, I�m not calling myself some kind of unattractive old hag or something. It�s just that going to such a large school you�d think that I�d find at least one guy there that didn�t make my skin crawl. I mean, of course I�ve met decent guys at State, but never any that I was attracted too. It almost seemed that the pool didn�t seem large enough to find any kind of variety from the beer sucking creeps that I�ve found one too many times at various parties.
I�m still not ready to give up yet.
After the rest of the crew had finally arrived, being as that they were on what K called �Asian time�, we lined ourselves up for a lovely buffet-style catered meal. The choices were endless: there was Caesar salad, vegetables, Jell-O, cottage cheese, fettuccini, green beans, some kind of messy chicken, and some other kind of roast-like meat.
I took the two plates and sat down. Somehow, I couldn�t resist and during the meal told my dramatic tale of my ever so lovely accident. And then it was time�
�time to venture over to the desserts�
I picked small pieces up of each but one of them was so heavenly it was indescribably. It had some kind of chocolate cheesecake like taste with raspberry sauce on top. While munching on the last of my meal, I listened to the presentation in which each board member from the previous five years was honored in some way. Each of the presidents was given a chance to speak. When the mic was finally handed to K, I saw her freeze.
�Hi�� came out a small voice. I knew what was happening: she had no idea what to say in English. I knew that Japanese was instinctively running through her mind, and K was never good about being put on the spot. I was going to shout, �picture us all naked!� but I wasn�t sure how that would pan out with her other friends. She let out a quick, rushed, speech and handed the mic back, clearly embarrassed. There was no need for embarrassment though; everyone laughed and cheered regardless.
After the presentation came the dancing, which no one seemed to want to do. I watched them all, they were dancing around the tables or by the bar, but no one was on the actual dance floor. Maybe it was the crappy music being played. Maybe everyone was chicken. Whichever the reason was, the three of us braved it and went up to the floor and wouldn�t you know it? Other soon followed.
I had started to feel the pain in my neck during the presentation, but I tried to ignore it. I wasn�t going to ask K to drive me home in the middle of her expensive dinner party. I started flipping through my phone book, IMing people that lived close to me. It was to no avail though, no one was answering.
I thought then that I could try and wait it out. The pain would go away sometime, wouldn�t it? The dancing only seemed to make it worse. My balance was off, my timing was off, I was just off. One of K�s other friends was dashing out the door and I told Kitty since they were so anxious about his arrival. Kitty turned around and started to chase him with K and I following. They managed to stop him and chastised him for his abrupt departure. Apparently that was exactly what he was going for. They talked for awhile, and I asked if he would drive me home. Being the perfect gentleman that he is, there was almost no need to ask.
I grabbed my things and thanked K for inviting me, apologizing for my early departure. She nodded and said, �I�m so glad that you came.�
She had such sincerity in her voice that it almost made me cry. I nodded back at her and left with her other friend.
On the way back, we politely chatted about medical school, engineering, and roommates. We arrived back at my house without mishap and I thanked him again. It was a quiet night, still early, but I was anxious to get somewhere comfortable so I could lie down and hopefully the pressure would be off my neck. I quickly washed my face and brushed my teeth and opened the door to my room. Bandit was lying on my bed looking up at me. He purred instantly when I picked him up.
What a perfect greeting before bed.
�..Coming tomorrow: Adventures in the Family Circus!
